The 'Hell Yes' Rule: How to Stop Analyzing Texts and Know If They're Actually Interested

Let me tell you about the Summer of Sarah.

I was 26, just starting to see some real traction with my first business, and I thought I was on top of the world. Then I met Sarah. She was smart, funny, and absolutely gorgeous. We went on three dates. I thought things were going great.

But then, the "busy" phase started.

I’d text her on a Tuesday; I’d get a reply on Thursday. "Omg so sorry! Work has been insane. How are you??" I’d reply instantly. Then, radio silence until Saturday. I spent weeks analyzing these texts. I asked my friends, "Does she like me? She used two exclamation points, that means she’s excited, right?"

I was analyzing crumbs because I was starving.

Looking back, it’s embarrassing. I was a grown man staring at my phone during board meetings, praying for a dopamine hit from a woman who, frankly, just wasn't that into me.

I learned a hard lesson that summer: Confusion is the answer.

If you are currently screenshotting texts and sending them to a group chat to decipher the "meaning," you already have your answer. But I know you don’t want to hear that yet. You want proof. You want a checklist.

So, let’s break down the practical, no-nonsense signs that someone is genuinely interested in you—and how to spot the time-wasters before you lose a whole summer like I did.

The "Hell Yes" or "No" Rule

In business, I have a rule for hiring: If I’m not screaming "Hell Yes" about a candidate, it’s a "No." Dating requires the same ruthlessness.

When someone is genuinely interested, they don't leave you in a grey area. They want to secure you. They want to take you off the market. If you are stuck in limbo, it’s because they are keeping you there. They might like the attention, they might be bored, or they might be keeping you on the back burner in case their first choice falls through.

Do not be a back-burner option.

If their interest feels lukewarm, it’s because it is. Genuine interest has momentum. It feels easy. You don't have to pry interaction out of them.

The Reschedule Rule (The Golden Metric)

This is the single most actionable piece of advice I can give you.

We are all busy. I run a company; I get it. Sometimes, you legitimately have to cancel a date because a server crashed or you caught the flu.

But here is the difference between an interested person and a polite rejecter:

• The Polite Rejecter: "Hey, I can't make it tonight, work is crazy. Sorry!"
• The Interested Person: "Hey, I am so sorry but I can't make it tonight because work is crazy. Can we do Tuesday at 7 PM instead?"

Do you see the difference? The interested person offers a counter-offer. They cancel the event, not the person. If someone cancels on you and doesn't immediately offer a specific time to reschedule, let them go. The ball is in their court. Do not double text. Do not chase. If they want to see you, they will make it happen.

They Integrate You Into Their Life

When I met my current partner, I knew it was different by date four. Why? Because she stopped using the word "I" and started using "We" regarding future events.

"We should check out that taco spot." "We should go to that concert next month."

Someone who sees a potential future with you starts mentally slotting you into it.

Furthermore, they stop hiding you. If you’ve been seeing someone for two months and you haven't met a single friend, seen their apartment, or heard about their family, you aren't dating—you're a secret.

Genuine interest seeks integration. They want to show you off. They want their friends to vet you. They want to see how you fit into their world. If they are compartmentalizing you away from the rest of their life, it’s because they don’t intend for you to stay in it very long.

The Curiosity Gap

There is a massive difference between someone who likes talking to you and someone who likes you listening to them.

Go back and look at your text messages or think about your last dinner date. What was the ratio of questions asked?

A person who is genuinely interested is investigating you. They are vetting you. They want to know your history, your dreams, your fears, and your opinions. They ask follow-up questions.

If you spend three hours at dinner and realize you know everything about their job, their ex, and their dog, but they don't know where you grew up, they aren't interested in you. They are interested in having an audience.

I once went out with a woman who talked for 45 minutes straight. When I finally interjected with a story of my own, she glazed over, checked her watch, and said, "That's crazy," before pivoting back to herself. That isn't a bad conversationalist; that is a lack of attraction.

They Protect Their Time With You

In the early stages of dating, time is the only currency that matters.

When someone is into you, they put their phone away. It sounds simple, but it’s the loudest signal in the modern age. If they are constantly checking notifications, texting others, or glancing at the TV behind your head, they are signaling that you are not the most interesting thing in their vicinity.

I remember when I finally stopped chasing Sarah and went on a date with a woman named Jessica. We sat at a bar for four hours. I didn't see her phone once. She leaned in. She made eye contact. The rest of the room disappeared.

That feeling—that "tunnel vision"—is what you are looking for.

The "Good Morning" Test

This isn't about literally saying "Good Morning" every day, but about consistency.

Interest doesn't take days off. It doesn't ghost for a weekend and reappear on a Tuesday night. Consistency is the hallmark of reliability, and reliability is the foundation of attraction.

If you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster—high highs when they are present, and anxious lows when they disappear—that is not passion. That is dysfunction. Genuine interest is boringly consistent. It feels safe. It feels calm. You know where you stand.

Trust Your Gut (The Entrepreneur's Instinct)

In business, when a deal feels "off," I walk away. Every time I’ve ignored my gut because the money looked good, I’ve regretted it.

Your gut is a powerful data processor. It picks up on micro-expressions, tonal shifts, and delays that your conscious brain tries to excuse.

If you feel anxious, insecure, or confused, stop trying to fix yourself. Stop thinking, "If I just lost ten pounds," or "If I just made more money," or "If I just texted something funnier," they would like me.

You cannot negotiate genuine desire. It’s either there or it isn't.

If you have to ask, the answer is no.

When you finally meet someone who is actually interested, you will look back at the "Sarahs" of your past and laugh. You’ll realize how much energy you wasted trying to pry open a door that was locked, while the right door was standing wide open waiting for you to walk through.

Stop settling for crumbs. Starve the distractions and feed the connections that feed you back.